Discussions, Seminars and Workshops

For more information please contact:
Tel: 07956 983 609
E-mail: marriage@islamiccircles.org

A debate and discussion with Brother M Ali and both his wives
[Founding members of the Global Ikhwan Polygamy Club]

Date: Wednesday 23rd November 2011
Time: 6.30 pm – 8.00 pm
Venue: Conway Hall, 25 Red Lion Square, London, WC1R 4RL

In July this year, Global Ikhwan, a group based in Malaysia
launched, with great controversy, the “Obedient Wives Club (OWC)”,
with admirable intentions to curb various social ills, including
prostitution and gambling, by showing Muslim wives how to “be
submissive and keep their spouses happy in the bedroom”. The
understanding is that this, in turn, would lead to more harmonious
marriages and societies.

“In Islam, if the husband wants sex and the wife is not in the mood,
she has to give in to him. If not, the angels will curse her. This is
not good for the family.” (Mrs Dr Darlan Zaini, literature professor
and co-founder of OWC)

“If we provide our husbands [with] more than a prostitute can give,
then he will not go out looking for it. Men are by nature polygamous,
we hear of many men having the ‘other woman,’ affairs and prostitution
because for men, one woman is not enough. Polygamy is a way to overcome
social ills such as this.” (Dr Rohaya Mohamad, medical doctor and
3rd wife of Mohamad Ikram Ashaari)

Global branches have now opened in Australia, Jordan, Kazakhstan,
Singapore, Indonesia and now London. With a huge “Muslim spinster”
crisis, and increasingly large numbers of divorced women with children,
could this be a solution for women in the UK and help stop Muslim men
ordering their “mail order brides” from the Muslim world as well as
curb their secret weekend retreats, made easy thanks to EasyJet
and Ryanair?

All welcome and free entrance but pre-registration required!

To attend or for more information please contact:
Tel: 07956 983 609
E-mail: marriage@islamiccircles.org

Islamic Circles presents:

An-Nisa Society & Islamic Circles

WHY DOES ISLAM GIVE MEN ONE DEGREE OVER WOMEN?

Text based workshop delivered by Shaikha Halima Krausen*

Date: Wednesday 5th October 2011
Time: 6.30pm – 8pm
Venue: The Froud Community Centre, 1 Toronto Avenue, off Romford Road,
Manor Park, London E12 5JF

Workshop will cover the following:

* A Verse of the Qur’an & its Translations
* Glimpses from Tafsir Notes
* Some Thoughts by Jurists and other Scholars
* The Place of the Verse in the Overall Picture of the Qur’an
* Ideas and Conclusions

Islamic Circles presents:

RECLAIMING THE MUSLIM MANHOOD – ISLAMIC CHIVALRY (FUTWWA) & COURTLY LOVE

Islamic Circles Muslim Marriage Events team

Date: Saturday 18th June 2011
Time: 9.30am – 1pm
Venue:  Abrar House, 45 Crawford Place, London. W1H 4LP

Allah says in the Qur’an: “Men are the protectors and maintainers
of women because of what Allah has preferred one with over the
other, and because of what they spend to support them from their
wealth.” (An-Nisa, 4:34)

Since time immemorial men in all cultures have generally been
responsible for looking after their womenfolk and leading the
family unit. However, with the industrialisation of societies
and the advent of the feminist movement, significant changes
have taken place, particularly during the 20th century. While
the effects of these changes may have been felt primarily in
Western countries, Muslims living in the West and beyond are
amongst those whose have been notably affected.

Many Muslim men have become stripped off their masculinity
and are much more submissive in their relationships today?
I-phones, computer games, fast food and urban living have all
contributed to this demise. At the same time, there has been
the rise of so-called “liberated” Muslim women, particularly
“feminist hijabis”, who rather than emulating the Mothers of
the Believers (ra) and being ‘surrendered wives’ while making
important contributions to society, they simply want it all
and think they can achieve it all!

Nowadays far too many Muslims are involved in marriages that
devolve into an empty observation of duties and an equally
vacuous demand for the fulfilment of rights. While such
practices may be laudable in their proper context, when they
are divorced from kindness, consideration, empathy, and true
commitment they define marriages that become a fragile
caricature. Such relationships are irreparably shattered by
a silly argument, a few wrinkles on the face, unwanted pounds
around the waist, a personality quirk or a whimsical desire
to play the field to see if one can latch on to someone
prettier, wealthier, or possibly more exciting than their
spouse.

Many Islamic organisations and shaykhs are also afraid to
challenge these deviant ideas because ‘feminist hijabis’ are
often the very individuals who provide their main sources of
energy and income. Indeed there is a crisis among Muslim men,
who have very little support to help them address the social
challenges that confront them. Many of their relationships
end up in divorce and a significant number prefer to marry
a spouse from overseas.

This brief workshop will focus on the following:

* Reminding Muslim men of their God given rights and responsibilities
* Understanding Chivalry both Western & Islamic (Futuwwa)
* Understanding Feminism and its equivalent amongst Muslims
* How to become a real Muslim man in today’s societies

Aimed at Muslim men but all welcome including sisters

Islamic Circles presents:

MARRIAGE WORKSHOP – WHERE TO LOOK FOR SPOUSES AND WHAT AM I DOING WRONG ?

Delivered by
Islamic Circles Muslim Marriage Events team

Date: Sunday 24th April 2011
Time: 11am – 1pm
Venue: K.D. Grammar School, Alexandra Road South,
Whalley Range, Manchester M16 8GW

“Allah will not change the condition of people until they change
themselves.” (Qur’an, 13:11)

This workshop will look at the following: writing a good profile
for marriage introductions; where to look for spouses; what to
say during meetings; knowing yourself, your limits and potential;
identifying where you might be going wrong and taking necessary
action, plus more.

Islamic Circles presents:

WORKSHOP – PREPARE FOR MARRIAGE – INVEST IN YOURSELF

Ustadh Ajmal Masroor and wife Ustadah Henrietta Szovati
(Barefoot Institute – Authors of “10 Things You Should Know About Marriage”)*

Date: Saturday 18th December 2010
Time: 10am – 5pm
Venue: Birkbeck College, Malet Street, London WC1E 7HX

Marriage preparation programme that is:
• Practical and based on real life experiences
• Guided by core Islamic principles
• Centred around modern counselling and coaching techniques

Marriage should be a simple process. Yet, many struggle to navigate through the
initial stages of finding a suitable partner and the relationship.
Experts say that
if you can survive the first three years, you are likely to stay
together as a couple.

Topics included
Discover Yourself: barriers to finding a suitable partner
Expectations: better understanding of what you are looking for and what
you are offering, roles and responsibilities
Communication: learning practical skills for effective ways to listen and
articulate your thoughts and feelings
Intimacy: exploring and challenging issues related emotional intelligence
and a physical relationship
Developing shared vision: you and your spouse, in-laws, extended family
and children

What will you gain by attending?
• Deeper understanding of the spiritual, physical and emotional
aspects of marriage
• Hands on and practical skills to navigate through various challenges
in marriage
• Handout with theory and exercises
• A signed copy of the latest marriage handbook
• 20% off Barefoot’s next couple’s training full weekend programme
• After the training a free taster session with the counsellor or the
coach

The courses are open to all but spaces are limited.
Entry is through prior registration only.
Prayer facilities available and coffee/tea provided during break sessions

*Those who attend the course will get half price off the next Islamic Circles
Muslim Marriage Event of their choice.

The Trainers
Ustadh Ajmal and Ustadah Henrietta have been married for over eight years. They
bring a fresh approach to the field of marriage counselling by combining both
practical and theoretical knowledge. The couple live in London with their
two children.

An-Nisa Society and Islamic Circles

“CAN THERE BE MORE THAN 1 LOVE?”

Presentation by Shaikha Halima Krausen*

Date: Tuesday 5th October 2010
Time: 6.30pm – 9pm
Venue: Birkbeck College, Malet Street, London, WC1 7HX

“She loves me” AND “She loves me” – Can there be more than one love ? – That is the question ?

Shaikha Halima Krausen will discuss the Quranic perspective on polygamy and question whether it is possible to have
more than ‘1 Love’. There will be an opportunity for question and answers.

*Shaykha Halima Krausen was born in Aachen, Germany into a Catholic/Protestant family. She became Muslim in her early teens, eventually learning Arabic and traveling extensively in the Muslim world. In 1992, she completed her studies in Hamburg in Islamic Studies, Theology and Comparative Religion and continued to study with visiting scholars from the Muslim world and most notably with Imam Razvi, the leading scholar in Hamburg’s Muslim community. Shaykha Halima has been active in building up a German-speaking Muslim community in Hamburg and beyond. From 1984-1988 she was part of a team that produced a German translation of the Qur’an with commentary notes, and afterwards was involved in translating some volumes of Hadith and Islamic law as well. In 1985, Shaykha Halima became a founding member of the Inter-Religious Dialogue Circle at the Department of Theology at Hamburg University. Some time later she also joined Reinhard von Kirchbach’s circle that involved Buddhist, Hindu, Christian and Muslim experts interested in
deepening the dialogue beyond the intellectual encounter and in different cultural setups (incl. Pakistan, India, Sri Lanka
etc.). Finally, in 1993 she helped found the educational institute Initiative for Islamic Studies and succeeded Imam Razvi as the head of the German-speaking community when he retired from active service. She teaches regularly in London and across Europe and is particularly interested in inter-faith dialogue.

Islamic Circles presents:

MARRIAGE PROSPECTS AFTER 30

With
Ustadh Abu Aaliyah [Jawziyyah Institute]
Ustadah Uzma Jung [Habibah Institute]
Ustadah Humera Khan [An-Nisa Society]

Date: Thursday 18th March 2010
Time: 6.45pm – 8.30pm [Prompt start]
Venue: Toynbee Hall, 28 Commercial Street, London E1 6LS

Join us for an important issue facing many Muslims today.

Islamic Circles presents:

THE RING OF DOVES – DO MUSLIMS KNOW WHAT LOVE IS?

with Dr Fareed El-Shayyal [Markfield Institute] & Ustadha Humera Khan [An-Nisa Society]

Date: Monday 8th February 2010
Time: 6.30 pm – 8.30 pm
Venue: Toynbee Hall, 28 Commercial Street, London, E1 6LS

With Valentine’s Day round the corner, much of Western civilisation
goes into a frenzy around the theme of love, with the apex of this
being celebrated through Shakespeare’ s “Romeo and Juliet” plays.
Unfortunately, many Muslims are very much part of this practice.

Islamic history and literature is rich with examples of our warriors
who battled heroically with the infidels whilst at the same time showed
exquisite chivalric love to their partners through beautiful poetry
amongst other romantic ways.

Tawq al-Hamâma (The Ring of the Dove) is a famous Arabic book on love
and lovers, written in or around 1022 CE in Játiva, south of Valencia
in Muslim Spain by Imam Abu Muhammad ‘Ali Ibn Hazm al-Andalusi.

In thirty chapters Ibn Hazm treats thirty moments or personages
that are of relevance to love relationships, such as the signs of
love, love at first sight, amorous allusions, correpondence between
lovers, the messenger between the lovers, being together, fidelity
and infidelity, separation, and death. Ibn Hazm alternates from
theoretical observations to anecdotes of daily life, and he ornates
his essays with an abundance of appropriate poetry. The anecdotes
are often very personal and they give the reader a enthralling view
on life and love in Islamic Córdoba. All poetry in the Ring of the
Dove is Ibn Hazm’s own.

Much of what Ibn Hazm has written could be applied in our modern
day context through communication via SMS, e-mail and so on. But
here are a few poignant questions one may ask: Are the Muslim men
of today useless lovers who do not understand women? Are Muslim
women confused about what love is because of the influence of
Hollywood? Are non-Muslim Western men really more romantic when
compared to Muslim men, who appear rough, parochial, and show no
sympathy towards women’s feelings?

Join us for what promises to be a highly insightful and animated
discussion. Everyone is welcome and entrance is free. Registration
is not required.

Islamic Circles with An-Nisa Society presents:

HADITH REFLECTION: OBEDIENCE TO THE HUSBAND

With Shaikha Halima Krausen [Germany]*

Date: Wednesday 7th October 2009
Time: 6.30pm – 8pm
Venue: Idea Store Canary Wharf, Churchill Place,
Canary Wharf, London E14 5RB

The Prophet(saw) said, “If I were to order anyone to bow
down to other than Allah, I would order the wife to do
so for her husband. By the One who owns the soul of
Muhammad,if a wife does not fulfill her obligations
towards her husband, then she will not have
fulfilled her obligations towards Allah.” [Ahmad]

Join us as Shaykha Halima Krausen reflects on the
above hadith.

Shaykha Halima Krausen was born in Aachen, Germany into a
Catholic/Protestant family. She became Muslim in her early
teens, eventually learning Arabic and traveling extensively
in the Muslim world. In 1992, she completed her studies in
Hamburg in Islamic Studies, Theology and Comparative Religion
and continued to study with visiting scholars from the Muslim
world and most notably with Imam Razvi, the leading scholar
in Hamburg’s Muslim community. Shaykha Halima has been active
in building up a German-speaking Muslim community in Hamburg
and beyond. From 1984-1988 she was part of a team that produced
a German translation of the Qur’an with commentary notes, and
afterwards was involved in translating some volumes of Hadith
and Islamic law as well. In 1985, Shaykha Halima became a
founding member of the Inter-Religious Dialogue Circle at the
Department of Theology at Hamburg University. Some time later
she also joined Reinhard von Kirchbach’s circle that involved
Buddhist, Hindu, Christian and Muslim experts interested in
deepening the dialogue beyond the intellectual encounter and
in different cultural setups (incl. Pakistan, India, Sri Lanka
etc.). Finally, in 1993 she helped found the educational institute
Initiative for Islamic Studies and succeeded Imam Razvi as
the head of the German-speaking community when he retired from
active service. She teaches regularly in London and across
Europe and is particularly interested in inter-faith dialogue.

Islamic Circles presents:

THE SURRENDERED MUSLIMAH: MARRIAGE & ETIQUETTES WORKSHOP

Delivered by Sister Sara Malik, Surrendered Wife Trainer (UK)*

Date: Saturday 18th July 2009
Time: 10am – 5pm
Venue: Birkbeck College, Malet Street, Bloomsbury, London, WC1E 7HX

The Prophet saw said: “Everyone of you is a guardian and is responsible
for his charges. The ruler who has authority over people is a guardian
And is responsible for them, A man is a guardian of his family
And is responsible for them; A woman is a guardian of her husband’s house
and children And is responsible for them; A slave is a guardian of his
master’s property And is responsible for it; So all of you are guardians
and are responsible for your charges.” (Bukhari 730)

During the one-day workshop, women learn all about the concept of ‘surrender’
and unravel the myths around it. Throughout the course of the day, women learn
new ways that directly contribute to happiness and intimacy in a marriage; from
learning way they could receive better, to looking after themselves
more effectively. They explore ways they can express themselves more effectively
and how to successfully get their needs met.

The workshop sheds light on how men feel around the topics of control
and respect, aswell as helping them realise the significance of showing
gratitude in a marriage. Although this workshop does not replace the
in-depth investigation that the on-line Seminar provides, it is a perfect
introduction into the principles of surrendering, and the ways to go about it.

*Sara Malik is a certified women’s relationship trainer, who leads women
through on-line seminars, one-day workshops, one-on-one telephone support
and a web-based support group. She helps and guides women transform their
marriages with the principles of the bestselling book The Surrendered Wife,
by Laura Doyle. Sara successfully applies the principles of surrendering
in her flourishing and intimate marriage of 12 years, and resides in West
London with her husband, three boys, and her parents in-law. Her aim is
to teach women that they can have it all: inner peace, self-accomplishment,
a thriving marriage, happy children, and a successful extended family.
And Allah alone gives success. For more information please visit the
website at www.surrenderedwife.com

All women welcome and entrance by bookings only.

Islamic Circles presents a discussion on:

EMASCULATED MUSLIM MEN AND THE FEMINIST HIJABI

Date: Friday 10th July 2009
Time: 6.30 pm – 8.00 pm
Venue: Abrar House, 45 Crawford Place, London W1H 4LP

Allah says in the Qur’an: “Men are the protectors and maintainers
of women because of what Allah has preferred one with over the
other, and because of what they spend to support them from their
wealth.” (An-Nisa, 4:34)

Since time immemorial men in all cultures have generally been
responsible for looking after their womenfolk and leading the
family unit. However, with the industrialisation of societies
and the advent of the feminist movement, significant changes
have taken place, particularly during the 20th century. While
the effects of these changes may have been felt primarily in
Western countries, Muslims living in the West and beyond are
amongst those whose have been notably affected.

Do you believe that Muslim men have become stripped off their
masculinity and are much more submissive in their relationships
today? In some cases a vulnerable interior can lie behind the
steely exteriors of so-called Muslim hard men; and this is a
phenomenon which appears to span across Muslims of different
persuasions. Are there particular issues that characterise the
emasculation of Muslim men or are these merely an extension of
what is prevalent in modern Western societies today?

It is said with much zeal that Islam liberated women over 14
centuries ago, and yet it is Muslim women who are often at the
receiving end of some of the worst abuse and oppression that
is taking place today. However, has the feminist movement now
taken the battle for women’s rights to the opposite extreme,
such that instead of balancing past and current injustices,
men find themselves emotionally and financially at the mercy
of women? Does this also apply to female Muslim activists and
professionals? Is there such a thing as a “feminist hijabi”?
Is it women who are now “wearing the trousers” in modern day
relationships?

Women are responsible for over 80% of the real work carried
out by Muslim organisations and projects in the UK. Men, on
the other hand, lack the chivalry, motivation and confidence
to take on such challenges, speak their mind, put their foot
down, and lead by example. Could such a situation have arisen
mainly due to men no longer behaving like “real men”, or are
there deeper issues?

Join us for what promises to be an insightful and animated
discussion. The panel of guests includes Imam Shahnawaz Haque
(Psychotherapist, Teacher and Khatib), Susie Heath (Author of
“The Essence of Womanhood”), and Sara Malik (Surrendered Wife
Trainer).

Islamic Circles presents a discussion on:

UNTIL FOR EVERY MAN THERE ARE 50 WOMEN

with Shaykh Abdal Hakim Murad (University of Cambridge)*

Date: Wednesday 24th June 2009
Time: 6.30 pm – 8.00 pm
Venue: Birkbeck College, Malet Street, Bloomsbury,
London, WC1E 7HX

Commenting on the signs before the Day of Judgement, Prophet Muhammad
(pbuh) mentioned in a hadith, “The number of men will decrease, while
the number of women will increase, until for every man there are fifty
women”. (Sahih Bukhari, Volume 1, Book 3, Number 81)

Population dynamics today demonstrate that there are generally more
women in the world than men, and that women tend to live longer on
average. From a matrimonial perspective we find that there are more
women seeking spouses than men. In the light of modern day realities
what could be some of the implications of the above hadith and what
might some of the practical solutions be?

Join us as we embark on an evening of self reflection and acceptance
with Shaykh Abdal Hakim Murad, where personal barriers are challenged
and intuitive realisation is facilitated.

*Shaykh Abdal Hakim Murad (T.J. Winter) is one contemporary Islam’s leading
thinkers. Educated Cambridge University (MA Arabic), and al-Azhar.
Translator of al-Bayhaqi’s 77 Branches of Faith. Editor of M. Z.
Siddiqi’s Hadith Literature (Islamic Texts Society, 1993). Trustee
and Secretary of The Muslim Academic Trust. Director,
The Anglo-Muslim Fellowship for Eastern Europe.

Islamic Circles presents a discussion in conjunction with the Islam Channel:

THE BIG ISLAM CHANNEL DEBATE: WHY DON’T YOU MARRY ME ?

With Shaykh Haitham Al-Haddad, Mufti Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari,
Shaykh Abdur-Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera, Sister Mona Afifi,
Ustadh Ayman Malik (Muslim Marriage Coaching)*

Date: Thursday 18th June 2009
Time: 6pm – 8.30pm
Venue: The Islamic Cultural Centre & The London Central Mosque
146 Park Road, London NW8 7RG

“Is it possible today to find a partner with just a few clicks
on the web. Indeed, many Muslim websites offer matrimonial
services to anyone anywhere. It is also possible to
join a Muslim matrimonial agency, speed-dating sessions and
dinners for single Muslims or other marriage events. However,
many people have difficulties to find the right partner despite
all the Muslim marriage networks that exist. Why is it so
difficult to find the right one ? In this matter, ethnicity
and nationalism have an important role to play. Indeed, mixed
marriages are often seen with distrust and fear. It is hard for
Muslims to get married because finally the choice of a partner
is often limited to someone with same origins. But what is
Islam’s stance on these issues ? The debate is open !”

This will be recorded and aired on the Islam Channel, Sky 813

Islamic Circles presents a discussion on:

MARRYING OUTSIDE THE BOX – RACIAL HIERARCHIES & MARRYING THE INFIDEL

Panel discussion with Imam Abu Eesa Niamatullah (Prophetic Guidance),
Sister Humera Khan (An-Nisa Society) and Ustadh Ayman Malik
(Muslim Marriage Coaching)*

Date: Wednesday 13th May 2009
Time: 6.15pm – 8pm (prompt start)
Venue: Idea Store Canary Wharf, Churchill Place,
Canary Wharf, London E14 5RB

In his Farewell Sermon, Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said, “All mankind
is from Adam and Eve. An Arab has no superiority over a non-Arab nor
does a non-Arab have superiority over an Arab; also a white has no
superiority over a black nor does a black have superiority over a
white, except by piety and good action.”

Why are so many “born” Muslims obsessed with marrying “converts”?
In particular, why is it that white middle class professionals are
sought after while black Muslims are often not considered? Have we
really got over our post-colonial mentality where a hidden racial
hierarchy exists, especially amongst Muslims from Asian and Arab
backgrounds?

Sadly the opposite also holds true. Why are some black male converts
to Islam so insistent on marrying sisters of Arab or Asian origin,
sometimes erroneously believing that it is a litmus test of their
acceptance in the wider Muslim community? Why do they ignore our
black sisters?

How about the issue of marrying non-Muslims? Let’s face it, a lot
of Muslims, both male and female, have been dating and marrying
non-Muslims for some time.

“And do not marry the disbelieving women until they believe, and
indeed a slave woman who believes is better than a disbelieving
free woman, even though she may allure you. And give not (your
daughters) in marriage to the disbelieving men until they believe,
for verily a believing slave is better than a disbelieving free
man, even though he may allure you. The disbelievers invite you
to the Fire, but Allah invites you to Paradise and Forgiveness
by His Leave, and makes His signs clear to mankind so that they
may remember.” (Al-Baqarah, 2:221)

With a growing number of sisters frustrated in their search for
a so-called compatible Muslim man, the question begs – why can’t
they marry a non-Muslim? If I am a Muslim woman in my 30s and
have had little genuine interest shown by Muslim men, why can’t
I marry a “kafir” who appears more chivalrous, honest, caring,
and could even support me in ensuring that my offspring remain
Muslim? A similar argument could be applied in the case of a
non-Muslim woman.

Islamic Circles and Islamic Institute for Development
& Research (IIDR) present:

LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX, SEXUALITY AND FREE MIXING

Date: Monday 7th July 2008
Time: 6.00 pm – 8.30 pm
Venue: Toynbee Hall, 28 Commercial Street, London, E1 6LS

Guest speakers include: Imam Suhaib Webb (USA), Shaykh Haitham
al-Haddad (MRDF, UK) & Sister Humera Khan (An Nisa Society, UK).

“Your women are a tilth for you so go to your tilth as you will,
and send (good deeds) before you for your own selves; fear Allah
and know that you will (one day) meet Him. (O Muhammad), give
glad tidings to believers.” (Quran, 2:223)

Allah (swt) is the One who has created sexual desire in humans, and
if these are satisfied through halal means then one is rewarded. We
also know of numerous hadith showing the Prophet’s (saw) willingness
to discuss these matters openly. It should therefore be obvious that
education about issues related to sex is not only acceptable but
important. Muslims may disagree about the age at which sex education
begins, but some do not discuss the subject at all. As a result, the
first introduction that their children receive regarding such matters
is through TV, internet, school friends or even unlawful avenues. In
his book Al-Majmu’ Sharh Al-Muhadhdhab, Imam An-Nawawi mentions that
Imam Ash-Shafi’i is of the opinion that parents are obliged to give
their children education about sexual matters in the appropriate way.

With the rapid rise in matrimonial problems, the unfortunate fact
that pornography is rife in parts of the Muslim world, and the
confusion about sexuality and gender relations in the West, have
our scholars and community leaders failed in addressing some of
the most important problems facing the community today? Some of
the issues that this discussion seeks to address are as follows:

* If there is no such word for “free mixing” in Islam, why have
our scholars used ‘khalwah’ or seclusion as its nearest equivalent,
and why is there so much emphasis on trying to avoid free mixing,
especially in the West where strict segregation between the sexes
is not practically achievable anyway? Does simply speaking to a
person of the opposite sex with whom you are not married suggest
that you are trying to get closer to them on a sexual level, and
are therefore doing something haram? What is the definition of a
“mixed gathering”? How do we develop natural, modest, friendly yet
non-flirty behaviour between members of the opposite sex without
obsessing about free mixing?

*What is the responsibility of the Muslim community towards people
who are divorced and women in their 30s and 40s who are giving up
hope of finding someone to get married to? Are we facing a generation
of Muslims who are unlikely to get married and are resentful that the
Muslim community has failed them? Could polygamy be a blessing in
disguise if carried out in a just and responsible way?

* Are you worried and ashamed that there is a growing generation of
sexually frustrated young people in some parts of the Muslim world,
especially the Gulf countries, where unnaturally strict segregation
on the one hand, and bombardment with images of sexually attractive
women and men through satellite TV and multimedia on the other, is
leading to perversion, ‘desperate’ behaviour, and a dark underworld
of illicit sexual activity?

* How should the community deal with Muslims who are gay or lesbian?
Should we whip them, should we simply accept them, or should we help
them to recognise and overcome their situation?

The Radical Middle Way, Q-News and Islamic Circles present:

CAN’T COOK, WON’T COOK, DON’T TELL ME HOW TO COOK!

with Dr Umar Faruq Abd-Allah (Nawawi Foundation, USA)

Date: Friday 24th November 2006
Time: 6.30 pm
Venue: London School of Economics, Houghton Street,
London, WC2A 2AE

Could there be a more frustrating issue plaguing our young people
than gender relations? Despite taking part in so many knowledge
seeking activities why are divorce rates amongst Muslims so high?
1 in 10 Muslims are now divorced. Why do an increasing number of
brothers go back to Muslim majority countries to find a bride?
Are sisters in the UK too demanding or disrespectful? Do brothers
in the UK lack chivalrous and true manliness? What can we do as a
community to help sisters over 30 who are unable to find husbands?
Is there any hope or do we continue to live in a state of denial?
What about Polygamy or Misyar Marriages? Are these really viable
alternatives or are they just wild dreams of men living in a
society saturated with sexual imagery. Perhaps some sisters feel
it is better to marry non-Muslim men, at least they are more
respectful?

With all the tools for communication at our fingertips why is it
so hard to find what we want? Can I shake hands with a member of
the opposite sex? Why do I break into a sweat each time my eyes
meet that of a fellow Muslim sister / brother, and yet it’s easy
to talk to Sally, Mandy or Tom? What if we just want to be friends?
Why are all the good men and women taken? Are men really from Mars
and women from Venus?

Join Dr Umar Abd-Allah in an open, honest, intelligent and informal
discussion, in what promises to be a though provoking event with a
difference. Entrance is free of charge. All are welcome.

Islamic Circles Presents:

MUSLIM MARRIAGE EVENT – THE WAY FORWARD

Date: Saturday 16th August 2003
Venue: Froud Centre, 1 Toronto Avenue (at junction with Romford Rd),
Manor Park, London E12 5JF

• Are you seriously looking to get married?
• Are you and your family finding it is very difficult to find someone
compatible in a halâl way?

Please note, this event is NOT:

* Speed dating
* A management consultancy project aimed at posh/rich “professionals”?
* A good for casual free-mixing

Quite often all we do is just complain, moan and sometimes discuss
the difficulties in trying to get married. We can discuss and discuss
until the cows come home but how do we deal with these issues
practically?

The last event held in March 2003 dealt with various marriage related
issues faced by Muslims brought up in the UK, such as the return of
brothers to their parental homelands in search of a wife, the growing
arrogance amongst sisters, and other problems, some of which were
controversial and people would rather sweep under the carpet.
Experienced Muslim marriage counsellors, as well as an Islamic
scholar and a psychotherapist were invited to the event. The audience
participated in workshops, group discussions and feedback sessions,
and interested participants were also introduced via a unique card
profiling system where Islamic etiquettes maintained. Alhamdulillah,
since then, potential spouses have been meeting almost weekly and a
couple of marriages have already taken place as a result. Unfortunately
sufficient time could not be allocated to providing solutions in more
detail.

We are now pleased to announce a bigger and better organised event
with more emphasis on providing solutions.

• More extensive opportunities for introductions to take place.
• There will be a special session in Urdu and Bengali for parents
and guardians.
• The whole community centre has been hired, where there will be a
mixture of small group workshops and larger plenary sessions for
feedback.
• This event is not just for ‘hijabis’ and “religious” people.
EVERYONE is welcome.

What are the solutions for the following problems in our society?

1. How to encourage brothers to stop being so docile and start being
real men, and marry sisters HERE in the UK.
2. You want to marry someone you like but your PARENTS are the main
obstacle. What do you do?
3. What is wrong with DIVORCEES – how can they get married?
4. I want to meet someone in a proper halal way. How is this possible?

• Have you had enough of websites, paid & free marriage services, full
of time wasters and dodgy people?
• Are you fed up with pretentious “halal” singles evenings in posh
restaurants? What has the actual outcome been so far? Not much.
• Are you sick and tired of mosque and organisation based services,
where you have to be “buddies” with the committee members or they
won’t help you.
• Perhaps you’re a revert or have very few friends and family contacts?
. Maybe you’re thinking, “I don’t practice but my heart is in Islam and
I want to find someone who is Muslim. So-called practicing people
don’t bother helping because they look down on me or are simply
‘too pious’ and just ‘too busy active in da’wah’ (yeah right)”.

This is an event that would not only provide solutions but also where
you could meet your potential match, inshâ’Allâh.

Experienced facilitators who have been invited include:

* Mufti Abdul Karim Barakatulla (Senior Imam, Finchley Mosque, London)
* Sister Ruqaiyyah Waris Maqsood (Author of The Muslim Marriage Guide
and several other books)
* Brother Ajmal Masrur (Marriage Counsellor)
* Sister Masrur (Marriage Counsellor)
* Sister Sarah Sheriff (Author of Women’s Rights in Islam)
* Brother Shahnawaz Haque (Muslim Psychotherapist)
* Alimah Barakatulla (Wife of Mufti Abdul Karim Barakatulla)
* Sister Najma Ebrahim (Muslim Women’s Helpline)
* Brother Zahoor Qureshi (Islamic Society of Britain)
* Sister Sufia Rehman (Young Muslims UK)
* Brother Hassan Ahmed (Islamic Forum For Europe)

It is mandatory to bring one or both parents. If this is not possible,
then someone who would be able to influence the parents. Why is this?
Because research has shown that parents are half the problem. If you
don’t have parents or a wali or you are a revert then you can of course
still come. Divorcees are most welcome. No passport and asylum seekers
please.

Islamic Circles Presents:

THE MUSLIM MARRIAGE EVENT

WHY ARE SO MANY SISTERS UNABLE TO GET MARRIED?
WHY ARE SO MANY BROTHERS GOING BACK HOME TO GET MARRIED?
WHY HAVE DIVORCE RATES SOARED AMONGST “PRACTICING” MUSLIMS IN THE UK?

Date: Sunday 16th March 2003
Time: 11.00 am – 3.00 pm
Venue: Froud Centre, 1 Toronto Avenue (at junction with Romford Rd),
Manor Park, London E12

Invited Facilators:

* Mufti Barakatulla (Senior Imam of Finchley Mosque, London)
* Br Ajmal Masrur (Marriage Counsellor)
* Sr Sara Sheriff (Author of Women’s Rights in Islam)
* Br Shahnawaz Haque (Muslim Psychotherpist)
* Sr Najma Ackhter (Muslim Women Helpline)

The number of unmarried sisters and brothers in their late twenties
and thirties has risen dramatically over the last 10 to 15 years.
This unnatural and somewhat difficult state of affairs has arisen
due to a complex mixture of factors. Some have decided to pursue
extended careers and have consequently delayed the marriage process
considerably. Others have set themselves criteria for their
potential partner which are unrealistic or even impossible. Others
have become caught up in between Western and Eastern influences.

Sadly, many Muslims nowadays have been unable to deal with these
issues, and with nowhere to turn to, they have become worried,
depressed or even involved in activities contrary to Islamic
principles.

What should be the priorities of young Muslim women and men of
marriageable age today? How can these be balanced in a healthy way
for the benefit of the individual as well as the Ummah as a whole?
What is the Islamic perspective on all this?

The panel of speakers who have considerable experence in Islamic
marriage related issues in a Western context will highlight the
causes of these problems and insha’Allah outline steps that Muslims
could take, both individually as well as a community, in dealing
with such problems in a sensitive yet pragmatic manner.

There will also be a practical session as part of the event, where
participants would be split into small groups to discuss a variety
of issues. Feedback from these group exercises would then drive the
panel discussion and provide a forum for the interests of different
parties to be considered.

This is perhaps the first interactive lecture/discussion seminar
addressing these particular issues in the UK. We look forward to
seeing you there as your participation and experiences will help
develop this into a very thought-provoking event, insha’Allah.